Missteps and misunderstandings: the hidden risks in modern break-ups

Christmas is the time for coming together, but January has long been known in family law circles as ‘Divorce Month’, with a surge of enquiries as relationship tensions rise to the surface during the festive period. Financial pressure, childcare strain and the intensity of family gatherings mean that for many couples, the season of good cheer becomes the point at which problems can no longer be ignored.

Relationship breakdown is rarely a single moment; it often unfolds in stages. Whether a couple is quietly considering separation, navigating the practicalities of a split, or already completing paperwork online, modern relationship breakdown is more complex than it once was.

Alongside married couples turning to the new no-fault divorce process, an increasing number of long-term partners are separating without ever having been married - often without realising how few rights they have. And misunderstandings in both groups can lead to costly and avoidable mistakes without early specialist advice.

Since the introduction of no-fault divorce in 2022, couples ending a marriage or civil partnership can apply jointly or individually without assigning blame. The process is intended to be accessible, with clearer language such as ‘final order’ replacing ‘decree absolute’ - but that shift has created its own problems.

Family lawyers are reporting a steady rise in people who have done a DIY divorce, managing the process themselves, and assuming a ‘final order’ means everything is settled: marriage, money, property and pensions. It does not: the final order simply ends the marriage, and financial arrangements must still be dealt with separately, usually through a consent order approved by the court.

Recent examples given by family lawyers include a spouse who completed a DIY online divorce and, believing the matter was all complete, invested thousands renovating the family home, only to discover their ex-spouse could still claim 50% of the increased value because no financial order had ever been made.

The long-running case of Wyatt v Vince remains the cautionary tale, with the right to a financial claim agreed by the Supreme Court more than 30 years after the divorce. The 2015 ruling was made in favour of a former wife who claimed a share of the fortune amassed by her husband during the 30 years since they parted, as no binding consent order had been made when they divorced.

Alongside this, the number of couples cohabiting continues to climb. The latest ONS data shows cohabiting couple families are the fastest-growing family type. Yet the law has not kept pace.

Despite widespread belief in the so-called ‘common-law marriage’, cohabiting partners do not have the same rights as spouses, no matter how long they have lived together or whether they have children. On separation, there is no automatic entitlement to share assets, claim maintenance, or remain in the family home unless it is legally held in their name.

This creates a particular vulnerability for those who stepped back from careers to raise children, or who contributed informally to household finances on the assumption that long-term partnership brought long-term security. Calls for reform have been growing, but there is still no clear timetable.

“Divorce and separation are happening against a completely different social backdrop,” said Philp Elliott, family law specialist at Bedford-based Sharmans. “No-fault divorce has made the process less confrontational, but not necessarily clearer. More couples are living together without realising how little legal protection they have. Good advice early on prevents small misunderstandings from turning into major financial or emotional fallout.”

For divorcing couples, that includes understanding when to apply for the final order, when to pause the process, and how to protect property, pensions and savings through a binding consent order. For cohabiting couples, it may mean creating a declaration of trust, preparing a cohabitation agreement, or understanding options if separation is already under way.

“For anyone considering divorce or separation, the message is simple: this is a very tough time, but don’t let emotion overwhelm the outcome by rushing into action without proper advice,” added Philip Elliott.